“Remember that it’s not only the desire for wealth and position that debases and subjugates us, but also the desire for peace, leisure, travel, and learning. It doesn’t matter what the external thing is, the value we place on it subjugates us to another… where our heart is set, there our impediment lies.”
EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 4.4.1-2; 15
We already know that desiring things like money and power isn’t admirable. But what about desiring good things like peace, travel, knowledge? It’s okay to desperately want good things, isn’t it? Actually… that’s not good for us either, says today’s entry in The Daily Stoic. When we’re seated at the banquet of life, we can’t pine for anything — not even things that are generally considered positive or healthy.
But why not? What’s wrong with wanting these things? They aren’t vices, they aren’t unhealthy, they don’t represent greed or selfishness. Shouldn’t it be okay to desire calm, learning, and positive experiences for ourselves?
The problem is that desire of any kind makes us subservient to forces outside of our control. We can’t make anything come to us — so our wanting puts us at odds with fate. As Ryan Holiday puts it: “What we desire makes us vulnerable.” Desire itself is the problem, not the things we’re desiring.
For myself, I’ve realized that my raging desire for the next chapter of my life has caused me to lose sight of the fact that happiness is right in front of me, right now. I’ve been wanting to start my new adventure so badly, and have been pining for it so intensely, that my anxiety level is through the roof. I can’t think of anything else, and I’m putting my peace of mind at risk for something that’s entirely out of my control. It is a good thing that I’m wishing for, sure — but that doesn’t matter. It’s the desire itself that is causing my angst at this point.
In the end, we have to let go. We have to stop wanting things (even good things) to happen to us. We have to just let fate unfold as it will. If we reduce our want, we increase our happiness.
That sounds good to me. I’m going to give that a shot, I hope you do too.
Great Post Billy! You are exactly right in that we have to live in the present and not in the future. As much as we are wanting the page to turn in our future, all of our time we are concentrating on the future, we are losing our present.