“When your sparring partner scratches or head-butts you, you don’t then make a show of it, or protest, or view him with suspicion or as plotting against you. And yet you keep an eye on him, not as an enemy or with suspicion, but with a healthy avoidance. You should act this way with all things in life. We should give a pass to many things with our fellow trainees. For, as I’ve said, it’s possible to avoid without suspicion or hate.”
MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 6.20
In today’s chapter of The Daily Stoic, the author makes a very interesting suggestion: that by viewing “each situation as a kind of training exercise, the stakes suddenly become a lot lower.” Everything becomes less serious, less all-or-nothing. When someone does you wrong, it’s not nearly as grave of an injury, because it’s just training.
We’re always in training, aren’t we? Every day, all day. Life is a giant training exercise, and we’re always working to get better, to improve ourselves and our understanding of the world.
So if we get popped in the nose suddenly, or someone takes a slightly foul jab at us, we have the choice to not view it as some sort of grievous fault and not get all bent out of shape. We can choose to brush it off and continue as before. For our fellow trainees are capable of making errors — and it’s okay for them to make mistakes, just the same as it is for us. We can assume the best about their intentions and not get stuck on their motivations being secretly evil.
Brush it off, and give them a free pass! You’ll feel much better on the inside, compared to secretly harboring suspicion and viewing them with spite.
