“If then it’s not that the things you pursue or avoid are coming at you, but rather that you in a sense are seeking them out, at least try to keep your judgment of them steady, and they too will remain calm and you won’t be seen chasing after or fleeing from them.”
MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 11.11
A lot of things that happen to us are made worse (or better) by how we receive them. If we’re anxious and a wreck as we hurtle through life, then everything that comes our way is also going to cause more anxiety, and will seem like it’s designed to destroy us. But by contrast, a person who receives these exact same events through a filter of calmness and steady judgment will have a completely different experience.
It’s because the equilibrium we have on the inside (or lack thereof) has a big impact on how we perceive events in our lives. If we’re peaceful on the inside, then arguably ‘bad things’ that happen to us won’t feel quite so terrible; we’re likely to just brush them right off, and perhaps even be amused by them.
But if we’re chaotic and upset on the inside, then everything that occurs in our life is likely to be perceived as more of the same: out of control, unbalanced, and a threat to our existence.
So the secret is to be the calm one, the person who seems to float gracefully through life and attracts more of the same toward them. Sometimes you just have to start the pattern yourself, before it’s truly reflected in your life. Make a decision that starting today, you are going to be calm, but ready — and you’ll soon find that your life seems to fall into line in the same way.
