“My reasoned choice is as indifferent to the reasoned choice of my neighbor, as to his breath and body. However much we’ve been made for cooperation, the ruling reason in each of us is master of its own affairs. If this weren’t the case, the evil in someone else could become my harm, and God didn’t mean for someone else to control my misfortune.”
MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 8.56
Your choices are independent of others’ actions and motivations. By definition and by nature, their flaws don’t become yours, because they are separate from you. We are each masters of our own domain.
You have to make sure that your choices and actions don’t “negatively impose on others”, as much as is possible. You have to accept that their choices are none of your business, and shouldn’t be influenced by you.
Likewise, they shouldn’t be able to negatively impact on you. The best method for keeping it that way is to let them be master of their domain, and you be master of your domain.
Remove the log from your own eye
There’s a verse from the Bible, and regardless of your overall opinion of organized religion, it does hold some wisdom. It’s from Matthew chapter 7, verse 5:
“You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
MATTHEW 7:5
It means that before you spend a lot of time analyzing the problems of your neighbor, and pointing out their faults, first have a look at your own life and see what needs improving. It’s very hard to clearly see what others need to improve, if you’ve got an obstruction in your own eye that blocks your understanding of yourself. It’s likely that your own issues are more significant than those of your neighbor.
In other words, be master of your own domain, and let your neighbor be master of theirs.
(Aside: In my other endeavors, I offer a class called “Master of Your Domain (Name)“. Check it out if you’re thinking of starting a website.)
