“You cry, I’m suffering severe pain! Are you then relieved from feeling it, if you bear it in an unmanly way?”SENECA, MORAL LETTERS, 78.17
Sometimes, when we’re in anguish or stress, we act out in bold and extreme ways. We yell, we scream, we break things. Behavior that isn’t acceptable under other circumstances isn’t actually acceptable under these circumstances either.
Why not? Because freaking out isn’t therapy. It doesn’t make you more of a man. It doesn’t help you feel any better, as the author points out in today’s page of The Daily Stoic. And you still feel embarrassed afterward.
Losing your shit doesn’t take away any of the pain or anxiety. It often makes you feel worse. And it affects those around you as well, especially if you have young children, because they don’t know what’s happening or how to react.
Acting out like this isn’t good for you — work on being unflappable instead.